Relational Pain
“You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
There is no pain like relational pain.
God made us to be relational and we will never be whole and fulfilled without deep meaningful connections with others. Life is all about relationships—our relationship with God and with our fellow man.
Many people really struggle to have meaningful, mutually satisfying interpersonal relationships. Those who do struggle tend to feel empty. They want to connect with others but because of so many hurts and failures with relationships they fear attempting it and often opt for the safety of isolation. They may not go live in a cabin in the mountains but they put up walls to protect themselves and leave themselves out of the reach of others.
They just don’t want to get hurt again because there is no pain like relational pain.
Yet the tension inside continues between the desire for intimacy and deep connection and the fear to open up and make room for such intimacy. It really does produce a type of misery.
Jesus came to reconcile us to God. He removed all the sin that kept us apart from the Father and each other. So, if that’s true, and it is, why do so many believers struggle to have healthy fulfilling relationships?
The reconciliation Jesus accomplished puts us in a position where loving relationships are possible but like everything in the Christian life, it is not automatic. We must learn to live the new life we’ve received from Jesus. This is why Jesus said the following to those who had just become believers.
If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:31-31
The truth of who Jesus is, the truth of His gospel saves us but there is more truth we need to know and live out for only then are we His disciples indeed and walking in true freedom We must face the clash between what life has taught us to think and believe and what God says we are to think and believe. And anything life experiences have taught us that conflict with what God says is a lie. Some of these lies are deeply engrained within us and only the power of God’s truth can demolish them and set us free.
It’s called sanctification—the process of learning and growing in the truth of Christ whereby we are set apart more and more from our sin and more and more to Christ. It is learning what John the Baptist so wisely said, “He (Christ) must increase; I must decrease.”
It really is a journey...a journey that includes unpacking our suitcase containing all the stuff from our past. The way we were raised, what was modeled for us, what we experienced both good and bad. With the help of the Spirit we can examine each thing in our suitcase, discard all that Christ says is not good for us and keep only those things which He says are good for us. This is especially difficult for those who have experiences in their bag they’ve been trying to forget about for years. But examine we must. It’s the only way to freedom.
Our gracious Lord is with us and He has given us some “safe people” in the body of Christ who can help us. So don’t delay—start your journey today. And if you started before and got discouraged of knocked off course with fear restart the journey. Freedom awaits you. Jesus guarantees it.
Pastor Dan